EAST BAY INSOMNIAC

TRADING TORSOS

Coming to you from the epicenter of efficiency and ersatz miniatures, these Japanese Trading Torsos cut right to the chase. Or, more specifically, they cut right to the T&A. Like a woman in a magician’s box sword trick gone awry, Happinet brings us a Hip Parade of asses followed shortly by a bevy of Bust Emperors. Diversity abounds: from cup size to skin tone, these torsos have the spectrum covered. (Although, they may need some help covering themselves. See Latin Carnival below.)

Martha and I discovered these wonders while searching online for a complete set of Anatomy Gashapon figures I’d seen in Albany’s awesome, The Bone Room. She found the tiny scientific body parts for me on Jlist, and that’s where we first had our eyes opened to Trading Torsos. Now we are fans. And you can be too. Some of the figures you can collect and swap in multiple colorways include:

• Hip Parade
• Summer Memories
• Active Girls
• Latin Carnival
• Sphere of Grace

Trading Torsos are sold in “seasons.” This is as wonderfully retarded as how ANTM refers to itself in “cycles.” There are 5 seasons of hips in rotation and 3 seasons of chests busting a move. Bust Emperor Season 1 was notable both for its bold divergence from the female posterior and also its bold typographical error (or should I say its typographical emeror?). Season 2 saw an extreme increase in cup size requiring the tiny plastic torsos to need a collar around their necks to hoist their boulders. Season 3 split the difference with a more athletic look and a terrifically gimpy arm. (more…)